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Monday, October 13, 2008

I sit up at 2:00 in the morning

So i sit up at 2 am, not tired well i am but i can't sleep i dont like not having jay here, i wish he was, i have never liked being home alone, but it has to be done, i have been trying to get things done, and trying to keep busy and well i ran out of things to do, but who knows, and the kids, were really buggin me today and i don't know why, i mean, i love them dearly but i just don't understand why little man is so hard, i mean it get me down and i just dont like it at all, thats the kinda stuff that makes you feel like a faliure as a mom, since going to bed at 8:30 he has woken up at total of 10 timese for either being cold, falling out of the bed, wet, need a million drinks and so on man i wish he was more like sabrina who just sleeps when she suppose to.

so i sit here today and i felt alone and i hate that feeling and it bugs me, i miss jay i wish he was here but he has to do what needs to be done, hes doing all this working to get out us out debt in a few months and we might be able to get ahead, and live nicely and frankly that would be great, i would love not having to stress about anything and i know it would be great for jay and it would make him happier and i love everything he does, and even tho i hate not having him here its goosd for him cuz he can get away from me and the kids even tho hes working its still a break from us cuz even tho i know i am stressed at times he needs his breaks to and i understand that we all need them and with him working to get us ahead is more understandable now we just need to get out of this crap hole and everything will be great !:P
I love him dearly:P

My mom is doing okay, she still hasnt gotten a job yet and i dont think she is going to be able to cuz of the way the crappy economy is and we can thank our crap head of a president, bush man i hate that guy but i personally think that were gonna get another crap head of a president, i frankly hate obama and i dont want him as president, i am going for good old mcaian( however its spelled), but i truelly wanted hillary as president but its not gonna happen cuz the men in this world are not ready for a women a president and couldn't handle a women having that much power it would frankly freak them out and just couldnt handle it maybe in the next 4 years it might happen but who knows i honesntly think that a women president wont happen just cuz of how sexest the men are in this world and it will keep her from being presdent, i think if she was he wouldn;t be in this shit hole were in now but that just my opionion, but man i am so tired of this debating let just pick the crap head and get it over already and watch the world crumble. oh well......

my dad is doing okay i think he should quit his job he is told old to be doing what he does and i think its to dangerous, hes already retired from a job but he wont quit cuz he loves money to much and well i dont blame him LOL :P

so i have some big gifts on my xmas list i want a laptop, and a car, haha big huh? but you know what i am not gonna get either oh ya i also want a house LOL hehe but i can wish, but ill settle for boxsets, dvd, books and cloths but theres nothing wrong with wishing ......


wishes.............................................

1 comments:

sara said...

Hey, I saw your bulletin on myspace, and thought I would say hi. So... since I dont remember at the moment how to get our blogs to be friends I wont do that, unless I can figure it out.