today is a better day

So i dont know what hit me i think it was everything with my mom, and then hearing about my dad, then i starting feeling down and so i had like a mini freakout and used my weight as the sorce..... but i hate when that happens and sumtimes i think its just life stresseses me out that i need a way to relieve it...

today is a better day, even tho i dont feel good nore does anyone else in this house but i had some good friends support me and send me a pick ups and i am thankful for that....

sometimes we all have a bad day and i guess last night was just mine lol.....

anyways.... lets hope the rest of the day is good!

I want to be hot

So i have decided that i must diet in anyway possible. i must lose weight any way possible..i want to be skinny, hot and super sexy, i want that when i walk into walmart people stare at me with the oooo she is so hot look.... welll maybe not that far but i want to be able to by the super small cloths. i want to strolle but the pool and not let it bother me how i look and that i can say this is me, i have had 2 kids and you know i am awesome...

Will it happen i doubt...

Do i want it to happen sure hope so......

i think i am gonna try to work out everyday.. start out small and then work up....

if i have to starve i have to starve i did it in high school and lost a crap load of weight while being hooked on slim fast i hate if for lunch breakfast snack dinner and everything i can do it again.....

i give my self one year to to get to the weight of 120... 110 would be better but i ll take 120.....

so tomorrow it starts....
i am gonna go to the gym... just drink water all day.. and eat maybe a salad....
and see how that goes.....

and if i keep it up.. maybe something good will come out of it.....

i just wish i had support. someone i can tell and not judge i have jay but i want a friend.. someone outside my relationship who understands how i feel....

i think i just need to believe in myself.....
it just so hard any more with everything going on with my parents and what not.

I think i am so ashamed i have let myself go. that i have like turned into a blob of nothing that just here to take care of my family i think if i was skinny and took care of my family i would be more happier.. iam tired of the fake ur pretty it looks nice.. no your not fat. just say it you all you know you wanna.. just tell me to my face and quit sugar coating it...

i think i am letting this controll my life cuz its bothering me to a point of things that use to make me happy are not any more really so i need to make the change and only i can get my self skinny no one else can....

i just dont know why i am letting it controll me so much. i wish i new :(

Jessica

Yes were a anime family get over it!

So for 2 years now my son has been dressing up as little armstrong from full metal alchemist.. and he loves it. Yes we are a family of anime lovers. and guess what things and people in our lives make you change. You know you cant be 16 forever. We all have to grow up and as we grow up and be adults and parents and what not and have love in our life and when we find that one we want to be with forever you learn to make changes in your life for the good and some are also for the bad.....

Now people have known me from the past to be a *gangsta take no shit kinda person* guess what.. that was then this is now.. and now i am a adult and i realize that if i go and kick your ass for you being ratard... for saying or looking at me wrong... you know where thats gonna get me know where....

I have 2 kids that i have to think about before i act.. and you out there who dont have kids will learn that when you do...

now most say that jay has changed me. maybe he has.. maybe he hasnt i am not one to say he has completly i think that as i get older i start to relieze that stupid shit dont matter no more and other things do.....

YES I like anime and guess what YES I LIKE PLAYING WOW(world of warcraft) if that makes me a nerd so be it. but this nerd can still kick anyones ass if needed, HAHA....

but its hard to believe that people in this world think they will be young and 16 forever and couldnt have a care in the world and before anyone gets there boxers and panties in a knot please take your finger and pull them out if i didnt say your name i am not talking about you...

i just see people everyday acting and saying shit thats like dude i am to old for that....

Anime is not for everyone.. and guess what yes i let my kids watch anime. i take them to anime events and i let them dress up!... its all for fun and when they are old enough and dont want to do it oh well ill understand.. but anyways for 2 years now jase has been armstrong and he is so cute this year we let brina dress up as seeing what happen when she didnt wasnt something i wanted to go thru again... lol and they had a blast and they already looking forward to the next year.. his jase page i made feel free to look around and like!....

well enough anime bitching...
time to go get a drink and maybe think about some hot anime guys HAHA lol

Jessica

http://http://www.facebook.com/pages/Little-Armstrong-inc/123825807705078

blog remodel.

So i have decided that i am letting life things stress be out. People, events, drama and such and i am starting to relize that i need to let it out sometimes so i plan on venting. bitching, complaining, crying, whining and all the above ... So if your a follower and you dont like to hear that crap feel free to leave if your not a follower and would like to hear my opionions on life feel free to follow. ..... the more the marrier LOL....

So i am updating my and changing the ways of my blog its gonna be the good the bad and the ugly! lol...


Jessica

the start of 2011

So the start of 2011 has been interesting nothing major really has happen other then my mom having her surgery and then having sum major set back and its been really really stressful for that. Then my son's birthday is in a few weeks so I am planing that. He will be 4 yrs old he's growing up so fast.

Then I have to take them to the doctor for there check ups and I have to get things ready for Brina to start school she will be starting this year and I am really really excited but its a lot of work to get thing ready.

And then, so far me, and the 2 kids have been sick and well thats just stinks....i have cleaned up more throw up and poop in like 2 days its unreal lol......

soooo... now I just need to get my house back in order and that would be great. lets hope it happens. lo

Headache.... I am seeming to

Headache....
I am seeming to have a huge headache today when i dont want to. Its the holiday time but i just feel crappy .. I wish i was happy.

Test *Jessica*

Test
*Jessica*